Cut the Bull...
Updated: 12 hours ago
There's this big debate taking place within me. The argument revolves around this exposing of personal patterns. However, I believe, this entire journey would not have happened without this process we went through to free ourselves from everything that held us in the place where we were kept. So when this blog has readers, many of them might say, “What is she rambling on about all these contractions, this commitment, guilt and breathing here and breathing there?” I declare that without those breaths in and out, and without the flow of whatever it is that flows in our bodies, this entire journey would not have happened.
An illustration of flow is based on a painting by the artist Yohanan Arnon.
Until you experience this flow in your body, you don’t believe it can really be something you feel. The special thing about this phenomenon is that immediately after it occurs, your batteries recharge, your thoughts become vivid, all the mush that just a moment ago was slushing about in the bowl of your brain disappears, and we know exactly what we need to do right now and how to do it.
Even if we don’t like to fly, the first obvious step is to decide what your destination is, but I will discuss that at a later stage. the second step is to buy a plane ticket. You go to your Google search engine and type “flight from Ben Gurion Airport to Antaliya.” And then we click and free fall into the Google rabbit hole. It’s unbelievable, but we, somehow, manage to relax our shoulders and breathe into our diaphragm, allowing ourselves to tremble with fear as we buy a one-way ticket to the resort city in Turkey.
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” says the ancient Chinese proverb. My enormous small step was learning to be afraid. Thanks to different methods of mindfulness, meditation and body work, I learned how to let that fear roam free in my body and in return, that fear allowed me to roam free in the world.
In the last few months before setting out, a series of miracles happen to me one after the other. First, the piano is taken away. Unbelievably, a lady wants the old piano and even pays for it's transport — quite a significant amount of money — and poof, the piano is gone. Second, the plan is to walk the Lycian Way from Antaliya in the east, along the Mediterranean cliffs all the way to Fethiye in the west, a distance of about 500 km. When I share this plan with people who know a thing or two about hiking, they shake their head and raise their eyebrows. But a plan is a plan, and I am a good hiker. The problem is that there is no one to walk with, and walking alone on deserted paths in a foreign land borders on irresponsible, if not complete madness. I don’t know what to do, so I quietly bite my nails and wait for a miracle.
And a miracle happens. My Canadian Trusted House Sitter friend calls.
She just wants to know how I am doing and if I have any plans for anything, and I tell her I am preparing to walk the Lycian Way in Turkey. There is a moment of silence and then the Canadian says: “I have been dreaming of doing the Lycian Way for a very long time.” I ask, “Do you want to come with me?” and she replies, “I'll get back to you in a couple of days.” And good to her promise, she does, and announces that the ticket to Turkey has been purchased and that we will meet in Antaliya on April 18th 2023.
Instead of feeling a wonderful sense of relief, my diaphragm immediately tightens, my throat goes dry, and my neck sinks into tense shoulders. Now that I have a hiking buddy, the only thing that worries me is how on earth will I get on with this Canadian woman in the middle of nowhere? What? Will we have to share a room? Will I have to hold my farts in for three weeks? And how will we manage being so close without a moment's rest from each other and not fight? Everything blurs, and again my brain turns to mush. I am feeling very unwell. Then I remember that I can breathe into my diaphragm, relax my forehead and eyelids, and stop all the noise going on in my head.
Thus, this entire journey would not have happened without the process I went through to free myself from everything that held me in the place I was stuck in - my comfort zone. So when this blog has readers, and some of them say, “What the heck is she rambling on about?” I will reiterate that without those breaths in and out, and without the flow of whatever it is in my body, and without a bit of mindfulness this entire journey would have never happened.
And the spirit came in the dream and I lived.
National Journal
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